I know you've heard me say these words before
But every time I say I love you the words mean something more
I spoke them as a promise right from the start
I said death would be the only thing that could tear us apart
And now that you are standing on the edge of the unknown
I love you means I'll be with you wherever you must go
I see it in your tears - you wonder where you are
The wind is growing colder and the sky is growing dark
Though it's something neither of us understands
We can walk through this together if we hold each other's hand
I said for better or worse I'd be with you
So no matter where you're going I will go there too
I will take a heart whose nature is to beat for me alone
And fill it up with you - make all your joy and pain my own
No matter how deep a valley you go through
I will go there with you
I know sometimes I let you down
But I won't let you go - we'll always be together
by Steven Curtis Chapman
I mentioned my husband, Shane, was deploying soon. Soon is here. Yuck. I am so filled with emotion, I can't see straight. I am fearful as he travels. I am overwhelmed that he is really gone. I am sad for the year he is going to miss in the lives of 2 very special little girls. I am sad for my little girls who will miss the things only a daddy can give. I am hurt to have my soul walking out my door. I am hoping he knows how much he means to me. That I didn't leave anything unspoken. I think that is one of my big fears in life; not letting people know just how special they are to me. Many of the people who know me will say that is impossible for me to NOT let the world know what I think.....
I know this is a little dramatic, but what's a blog for if not to express life? All I can do is sit here, pray to God for protection, look for advice, and hope that time moves quickly. So if there are any military mommas, seasoned mommies, or single moms out there with advice for coping, bring it on! All you others better start sending the jokes and funny stories so that I can find a bright spot each day. That is if I need anything more than the yogurt covered face of a 2 year old. Or the newly learned "raspberries" of a 5 month old. Or the fuzzy face of a loving Bandit. :)
Hey, it's only 11 months until he returns.... Woo hoo!
7 comments:
Since I'm not a momma, here's my link to make you laugh!
Click here!
It had me in tears!
I guess I would come under the "seasoned mom" category. Separation is never easy ...even if it's just sending your child away to college in another state. Keep your chin up...God IS in control.
Marie
You know, when we were going through our adoption with Bec, the times we were apart from him seemed just huge. But, even when I had a bad day, or a good day, I realized that no matter what, we were one day closer to being together. Hope this helps.
I had a great time Friday night. I told Kelly today that I think I could really get along with you. Just in case no one has told you today - you rock! I look forward to hearing your crazy stories.
what a very cool blog skin!
feel free to check out my blog:
www.xanga.com/tinkerbell0309
ugh, i'm not sure if i dealt with jake being going for 10/11 months all that well, but i know that just having those women around to vent/cry/get my mind off things was really helpful. And I threw myself into my work-- i'm not sure that's the healthiest either! lol.
the time did teach me a lot about who I put my trust in...and who i needed to put my trust in.
Ladies thank you so much for the support! I have to give all the design credit to Kelly! She is the creative power behind this thing.... I can find all sorts of words to type, but she is the wonder who makes it look good! Thank you Ms. Kelly!
I love the blog, sweet pea! Call me anytime... I'm always missing you.
And stay strong, girlfriend...
Jen
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