When I Say, "I Am A Christian"
When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not shouting, "I've been saved!"
I'm whispering, "I get lost! That's why I chose this way"
When I say, "I am a Christian," I don't speak with human pride
I'm confessing that I stumble-needing God to be my guide
When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not trying to be strong
I'm professing that I'm weak and pray for strength to carry on
When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not bragging of success
I'm admitting that I've failed and cannot ever pay the debt
When I say, "I am a Christian," I don't think I know it all
I submit to my confusion asking humbly to be taught
When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are far too visible but God believes I'm worth it
When I say, "I am a Christian," I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartache which is why I seek His name
When I say, "I am a Christian," I do not wish to judge
I have no authority--I only know I'm loved
Copyright 1988 Carol Wimmer
This is a poem my friend Emma posted. I think it really explains my feelings and what I hope people can see about me. But I have had my faith thrown at me recently. Life has been a little (LOT) rough lately. You might have noticed a lack of posting. I feel drained and devoid of energy often.
I have started a new job that has me pretty well exhausted by the end of the day. It is great to be a more active patient care giver, but I feel SLOW! I know I just need to get settled into the different assignment. I know I will get things figured out. It is just going to take time. But I can be a little type A. This is one of the areas affected by the "retentive" tendencies.
A few people in my life have thrown curve balls at me too. I know a few strikes were call, but I hope not to go down swinging. I want to think of myself as a "grown up", but I don't know sometimes. It is so hard not to take the bait that is thrown at you. My temper can get the best of me, and *POOF* bad situation gets worse. If I could fast forward through this part, I so would.
My girls are the highlight. Allison is just the best. She has gotten better about controlling her tantrums. She likes to help, but sometimes a little too much. She LOVES Emily. So much, I think she might break her sometimes. But the good news: Emily is a tough little turkey. ;) Miss Em is not going to crawl, she would rather roll. She can sit up. Roll over and over and over and over. She LOVES to chew on anything she can. She also gets visibly excited when she sees me and Allison and Bandit. Yes Bandit has a new supporter in his campaign to be human. Emily loves Bandit's tail. He doesn't realize how close to getting his tail chomped on he has come....
I hope everyone is having a great week. Good luck with the crazy weather. It has been spring to winter to spring to winter here. I just wish it would pick one and stick with it. But really I don't have the brain cells to worry about it.
much love,
Natalie
6 comments:
In case you haven't heard it yet today - I think you are totally awesome!!! A blissful mixture of fun, honesty, humility, cynicism, caring, resiliency, independence and on and on and on. And you are not at all afraid of blue flaccid babies - you will always have that on me!
Please apologize to Emily for me. I do not think I cut her enough slack on Sunday. If she felt half as bad as I feel, then she is still the most amazing baby ever! (I'm considering hooking my nose up to continuous suction while dropping a scrub brush between my vocal cords - if I could even find them hiding above my esophagus - to scratch my trachea between coughs.)
Good luck with the new job! It does take a while for us to find our nich when it comes to something new, don't be hard on yourself!
I loved your words - so refeshingly honest and transparent.
HUGS
Congrats on your new job! I hope it turns out to be everything you want and need for it to be. :)
I love hearing updates about your girls. They sound so wonderfully cute! So funny that Emily is a roller! Some babies I've known (me included) never crawled; they did their own little thing and then just walked one day. She might be like that. (I never did anything. I was carried and never put on the floor. One day, my Mom put me for a nap in my crib and later in the day, I came walking into the kitchen.)
Love updates from your world! Keep 'em coming!
xo,
Karen Beth :)
It's been awhile hon. You sound like you are doing a great job with all of the pitches headed towards you.
Sending love and I really enjoyed the poem.
Nat, good luck with the new job. It'll take a bit to get used to I'm sure, but you're more than capable at kicking tail.
In terms of curve balls, it only takes one pitch to hit it out of the park. Hang in there.
The weather has been crazy. Even more so down in our old stomping grounds. Did you hear about our alma mater? That was our school in Jackson TN that got hit with the tornado. Please say a prayer for the school, students and families.
loved your post....miss you, but I completely understand that you're so busy with many curve balls flying, to do my little take on the baseball analogy :) Love to you!
m
Post a Comment